December 2009
The next person that tells me "See you next year!"...
That’s right, little old lady co-worker… I’m talking to you!
"Bring on 2010! ... F-You, 2009! ... 2009: FAIL!" ...
I’ve gone back and read all your blogs from this time last year. You said the same thing about 2008… and probably 2007 too. You’re all idiots.
January 1 is an arbitrarily chosen date upon which we adjust the year ahead by one. New Years is a stupid holiday if you think about it. All we’re really celebrating is a date on a calendar that was chosen arbitrarilly....
1 tag
Dave Barry's year in review: 2009 →
It was a year of Hope — at first in the sense of “I feel hopeful!” and later in the sense of “I hope this year ends soon!”
It was also a year of Change, especially in Washington, where the tired old hacks of yesteryear finally yielded the reins of power to a group of fresh, young, idealistic, new-idea outsiders such as Nancy Pelosi. As a result Washington,...
“You gonna eat that?”
– Gandhi’s brother Tito
I just saw Valentines Day crap at the grocery...
Nothing expresses true love like a two-month old box of candy.
Flyer I saw yesterday: "2 Free Parakeets - Serious...
Do we really live in a world where people would make flippant inquiries about parakeets?
Hey, how's that cure for cancer coming along? →
Well we weren’t getting any where and quite frankly it was kind of a downer being around all those sick people all the time…
But check out what we’ve been working on instead!
See-through goldfish!
1 tag
formspring.me
If you could be one famous person from history who would be and why?
It’s a toss-up between Ricardo Mantalban or Batman. Let’s compare… Upsides Mantalban: Lives on Fantasy Island, midget sidekick, Mexican accent Batman: Nice car, secret lair, gets to wear a cape Advantage: Batman Downsides Mantalban: Having to buy food for the midget, being asked to mow people’s...
1 tag
formspring.me
when you were a kid what did you like to do on snow days?
My house growing up was on what I’m sure I thought then was a large hill, but was in actuality probably about 10 feet high. Either way, it was awesome for sledding. The best part was that it led right into the street. It was fun to sled out in front of passing cars. It’s pretty amazing none of us ever got...
1 tag
1 tag
formspring.me
Have you ever considered running for office?
Not really. There are lots of more smarter and intelligenter people than I that would be more qualified. I find it more fun to mock and ridicule elected officials.
Ask me anything
Form whence we spring...
I still don’t get the Formspring thing but what the heck.
Ask away… I guess.
Follow this link on your Blackberry to download... →
It’s a thing of beauty and I’m using it right now. Oh, and its third party because the Tumblr staff are apparently all too busy making out with their iPhones to bother writing an application for the most widely used phone.
Free Million Dollar Ideas
Below you will find some ideas that are guaranteed money in the bank. However, I don’t have the means (nor motivation) to bring them to fruition. They’re all too good not to happen so I’m passing the ideas on to you so that maybe one of you may run with it. Godspeed.
Jerky-lined Ski Coats - I don’t know if I’d have the insulation actually made of jerky but you have...
To All My Liberal Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the...
“Guardian of a King” - Greg Sharp...
“I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is...”
– P.J. O’Rourke
What browser do you use?
Firefox isn’t doing it for me anymore. I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems pretty unstable lately. It’s crashed on me 6 times today.
Tell me what browser you use and why.
(edit: I should mention that I’ve experienced Firefox flakiness on both Mac & PC. I’ve been using Chrome for Mac which seems okay, but really I’m looking for opinions for...
Will the HC bill be unrepealable? →
Watch and read the whole thing. Our country is being run by tyrants. The death of the Republic is near and all of you that voted for Obama and all the other America-hating Democrats will have the blood on your hands.
“Obama’s rhetorical audacity breeds cynicism, because utopianism always...”
– Jonah Goldberg
Obama: We Can't Treat Tax Dollars Like "Monopoly... →
But if you wanna buy some houses, he knows a guy.
Cats for Gold →
“Turn your glitter to litter!”
New Job Opening
It looks like there’s an opening for a new poor man’s Zooey Deschanel.
Bill Hader's job interview at SNL
Lorne: What kind of things do you think are funny? Bill: Gay jokes and being creepy. Lorne: Well we already have a Will Forte. Do you do any impressions? Bill: Vincent Price, remember him? Lorne: Timely. Alright… What characters do you do? Bill: I have this Italian guy that smokes and interviews Americans in Italian… Get it? They don’t speak Italian. Lorne: Riiight.
1 joke + 5 Minutes = Pretty much every SNL sketch...
2 tags
thatisracist:
fuckyeah21andup:
Michael Bublé -...
I'm wearing a sweater that is 15% wool.
Which means that right now, I’m itching my arms like 15% of a crack addict.
I once had a friend that was schizophrenic... 2...
Howard Dean: Kill the Bill →
Couldn’t agree with you more. YEAAAHHHHHHHHH!
WatchSarah Palin vs. William Shatner on the “Tonight Show”
can't
themattsmith:
folkinz:
nobody hold me down
knock the hustle
help falling in love
hardly wait
get you out of my head
buy me love
fight the moonlight
do nuttin for ya man
you hear my heartbeat
tell me nothing
take my eyes off of you
stop a man in love
get a line
erase it
get you off my mind
help the teardrops (from getting cried)
stand losing you
take the pain
